I am finally sitting down to formulate all of the many thoughts that have been floating around in my mind for the past few weeks. I went to the doctor yesterday, I am now almost 25 weeks pregnant...not bad, only 15 weeks to go!
Things have started to wind down a bit. April was a very busy month filled with lots of good stuff. First was the move from S. Francisca Ave. to Avenue C. The new house is so much better! It feels much more like home than the other house. About a week ago one of my adult students was leaving the house after her lesson, and on her way out the door she said, "I love having my lessons here, this is such a happy home." Her compliment delighted me--especially because I believe it to be true. The house itself is lovely, but as for the home being happy, that comes from Don and me. We have worked so hard in our marriage to get here, and I am relishing in it, cherishing every moment.
Sisters Lauren and Joy came for a visit the week after we moved. They were so funny and fun to have around. They stayed up late eating loads and loads of junk food, and watching TV and then slept in until noon or so the next day. It brought back memories for me of my early twenties and single life. It also made me realize those days were long behind me. I live with a 33 year old who is happiest if he gets into bed by 9 pm. He blames it on years of sleep apnea, I blame it on his 4:45 am alarm.
Does anyone out there love daylight savings the way I do? I swear it makes all the difference in the world as far as my energy level is concerned. I could never move to I don't know, say Nunavut, Canada where December leaves you with up to 24 hours of darkness. Sorry Nathan and Robin, June will be awesome with all the sunlight, but sheesh! Since we've moved the clocks forward I have been able to send my husband off in the morning with a sunrise, and been able to enjoy a few hours before sunset with him in the evenings. I think for both of us being able to be home or enjoy walks on the beach before sunset on weeknights has been terrific.
Somewhere on facebook, one of my "friends" mentioned that she couldn't stand people who go on and on about how happy they are, or how great their lives are going. It's possible I am one of those people she was referring to, what do you think?
So, I keep thinking about my little boy that's on his way. I honestly can't believe we're having a boy. I am not sure what to make of it, you see I was raised with a pride of women...not a pack of men like my husband. What do boys like? What do they need? I am good at fixing hair, throwing tea parties, and applying make up. Terrible at sports and with high adventure. When I mention to Don how concerned I am with this, he gives me a wry smile and states, "well what do you think I am here for." Thank you God that I have Don, nevertheless, are you sure you meant to give me a boy?
How about boy names. I have a million girl names I like, but with boy names I am still feeling stuck. I would love ANY input anyone has...so far we are thinking of Ethan, Evan, or Luke. Still, I am not convinced we have yet stumbled upon the right name.
Last night I woke up on two separate occasions due to high intensity kicks. This baby is feisty, and strong, and I think he is ready to stretch his legs and get on with life. Even though his gender intimidates me a bit, I cannot wait to meet him, and have been day dreaming of holding him close and drinking in his little delicious baby scent. It's going to be a beautiful thing!
Probably the strangest thing about being pregnant is all of the advice I am constantly receiving. A lot of people have such strong opinions about how to raise a child, and parenthood in general. It's definitely overwhelming, and I am constantly having to reign in my own thoughts, and ask God for wisdom and discernment. You know what I notice the most, the people giving the advice are generally the people that complain the most about motherhood. Just the other day someone told me to be sure to not quit my job because I would regret it and resent having to stay home and mother my child 24 hours a day. Talk about discouraging advice. Where are all the moms that will tell me raising a child is wonderful and rewarding? Please come out of the wood works if you are there! I so hope to enjoy this experience, and even if I have a strong willed difficult child, I pray that God grants me an abundance of love that is big enough to conquer any negativity I may feel through this process.
My life in roughly 15 weeks is going to completely change, and I am excited about it. I want to know what it feels like to lay down my life and my selfishness for another human being. I know it will be hard, and at times I will need a break (Grandma's get ready!) but I also know that through Christ I will be able to do this. "I am the vine and you are the branches. If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing." John 15:5.
God Bless!
I enjoyed that post, Rachel. Thanks for the link to your blog via FB!
ReplyDeleteWhen I told Keenan I was worried about having a boy, he said, "Nonie, they don't call them mama's boys for nothing." He was right. I realized that I was thinking of my unborn as a male instead of as a baby! Don't worry about it... you'll grow along with him, and I bet you'll learn to love what he loves. :)
As far as being a mother goes, it's definitely the thing that brings the most changes to life, but for me, it's the most wonderful thing in the world. The other day I was reading rave reviews on Amazon of a book you might enjoy. It's called: "Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture." Sounds like it might give you confidence in the decision you're making.
We're having another boy... due August 24. We really do need to get together, either before or after!
Rachel, Raising a child IS wonderful and rewarding... the greatest job given to anyone on earth because it is assigned by God Himself!! Don't worry, you'll see! :)
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